Sliding Door - The abrupt end to an intensive conversation

It has been a while since I wrote my last blog and the title of that one pretty much says why I wrote it. That dates my last proper blog to 2 weeks shy of 2 months. In acknowledgement of this ignorance, I express my sincerest apologies to the millions of my devout readers (*chuckle*) for this lapse in my blog stream. With this new post, you will all have the chance you have been longing for – the chance to pour in those millions of comments (*audible chuckle*) expressing your approval/rebuttal of the blog and its topic (*guffaw*).

Now that the preface is out of the way, the stimulus for this blog came from an interesting place – from my dermatologist during my visit a week ago. It was during one of those pillow talk sessions… you know… the one where the doctor starts talking about some random shit right before performing some surgical procedure on you that will hurt like hell but for some unknown reason the doc thinks that his small talk is gonna divert your mind away from all that excruciating pain? For those who haven’t been fortunate enough to go through one of this pillow talk sessions with your doctor, this is in many ways similar to the post-sex pillow talk, only this happens before the actual act but you get fucked in either – literally in the latter and with a hefty bill in the former. For those who haven’t been through a post-sex pillow talk, this is the part where you are so gratified from the sex that you make those remarks which you will later wake up and go “Wait! Did I say that or was it a dream?” For those who don’t know what sex is (no… not the little check box on your form), sorry, but I can only explain so much. If your parents didn’t have the birds & bees talk with you, it is none of my problem.

Coming back to my pillow talk with the doc (to reduce stress caused on my surgically treated finger from typing “dermatologist” a zillion times, let’s call him “doc”), this was one of the, if not THE, most interesting conversation I have had with my doctors so far. It wasn’t that the conversation was exceptional but the fact that, doc made me indulge in a serious conversation in spite of the pain, made it a unique experience for me. Voices in head at the time of conversation are in italic.

Doc: [jabbs the needle into my finger] Sooo… do you like any of the politicians out there now? You think any of them are good?
Me: [lying on the bed, starting at the ceiling, completely caught off guard by the question] Huh?! You mean… like… polit… as in… you mean any of the presidential candidates?
D.: Yes [managed to successfully puncture my skin… one word… OUCH!!]
M.: [choking from the piercing pain but still trying to get my voice loud enough to be audible] Well… I… I like the democ… democratic candidates better than the republican ones. I guess… I am more democratic than republican (I am?! Why did I just say that?)
D.: Did you know that the democrats have socialist ideals? So do you support socialism?
M.: Oh! I didn’t know that (I don’t even know exactly what socialism is. I think it’s something between communism and capitalism. But whatever you say doc. You hold the needle!). Well, I am not saying that the democratic candidates are the perfect fit but I think that they are better than the current offerings from the republican dugout.
D.: [Mentions something about the “war on terror” and how the democrats want to pull back the troops; my hearing was temporarily impaired since my brain was dealing with the intense pain of yet another piercing]
M.: (I think I should get a tattoo. If I can bear this pain I must be able to bear that) Yeah I agree that we need to pull our troops out. I think that, right now, they are there for no valid reason.
D.: [meddling with my finger and a tiny pair of tongs; not a good combination] But if we pulled our troops back, Al-Qaeda will gain control of Iraq and use it as a base for their terrorist activities.
M.: I don’t think that will happen. Iraqis hate Al-Qaeda as much as they hate us. (I can’t feel anything… Good job with the local anesthetic doc)
D.: Hmmm…! [using a lot of cotton and gauze]
M.: The majority of the population in Iraq is Shiite and Al-Qaeda is a Sunni militant group. So they won’t be able to take over Iraq without a fight.
D.: But Shiites also have militant groups. People like Mook… Mooktaa… Mooktad…
M.: (hehe) Muktada-Al-Sadr.
D.: [stops meddling with my finger, looks up and starts talking] Yeah! So if we leave, terrorists will gain control of Iraq.
M.: (WTF!! Get back to my bleeding finger) I don’t think so. If we leave, there might be a civil war in Iraq. But, that will happen whether we leave now, in 5 years or 10 years (Ok… the nurse is here… we must be close to getting done… Oh shit!! She looks middle-eastern… I hope I got my facts straight). This enmity between the sects was there before we went there and will be there after we leave. We won’t be able to do anything about it. That’s what I meant when I said it is not our fight.
D.: [cauterizing the wound] So what is your solution? How do we make sure that the terrorists don’t attack us?
M.: [all engrossed in the topic] Hmmm… I don’t know if there is any solution. Sunnis and Shiites are going to fight whether we like it or not and there is a pretty good chance that there will be a civil war in Iraq once we leave. Terrorist groups have cells operating in many countries. So even if we get them out of Iraq, they will just move operations to another country. I think the only way to fight terror from attacking our shores is to strengthen our own defen…
D.: [stands up and scribbles on his notepad; signals nurse to patch the wound up; stands at the doorway] The nurse will patch you up. You have a good day. [slides the door shut]
M.: …ses. Not go on the offensive. All we are doing by going on the offensive is making more enemies and … Thanks. See you later.

Now, this scenario is similar to what happens during a post-sex pillow talk on a weekday when one of the couple looks at the alarm clock. Surprisingly however, in spite of doc giving me the abrupt boot, I did not feel bad. I was just left wondering about how he got me all wrapped up in a serious conversation in such a short span of time and how opinionated I was about the war on terror.

And there ends my revival blog… just as abrupt as the sliding door at my dermatologist’s.