What defines a "Best Friend"?

Personally, I think the term is overrated but that's my opinion… and I digress. Trying to answer the question in the subject line of this blog, Is it how close you live? Is it how often you talk (or meet or chat or mail)? Is it how long you talk (or meet or chat or mail)? Is it how much you keep them appraised of your daily life? Is it how much you party/hang out together? Is it how much info they know about u? NO!! I don’t think its any of the above.

Meeting Vivek in San Diego this past weekend got me thinking about this. Me and him didn't go "a long way back", didn't go to school or college together, weren’t neighbors and didn't even know each other existed until about 8 years ago. But we have had a lot of history nevertheless. I have known a few longer than I have known him, I have hung out with a few more than I have hung out with him, I have spent more time with a few than with him - but there is a difference. I hadn’t talked to Vivek in 9 months, ever since I moved back to US nor did I spend a lot of time with him when I was in India. Yet when we met this past weekend, nothing had changed. Nothing felt different. It felt as if we had never been out of touch.

We have disagreed on many things, we have fought numerous times. But we have never let things brood. We have understood and accommodated each other, we have altered our priorities and schedules based on each other’s, we have given things up for each other. And yet we have never labeled ourselves as “Best Friends”. Why?! Because, we never felt the need to and neither of us had any expectations for the other person to do so either. Between us, we know we would be there if we needed each other and to proclaim it just doesn’t seem to serve any purpose except propaganda.

I feel that people use the term “Best Friend” too liberally one too many times and just base it on their current affiliations and affinities. I do not understand how someone who has hated you before or shared judgments on you without knowing you or talked “sour” nothings about you to others can be called your best friend. I agree that people can change but I should be able to trust my best friend unconditionally and wouldn’t the knowledge of their prior behavior negate the notion of total trust?

Some might already have these answers figured out but my definition of a “best friend” will differ from theirs. In fact, as I said earlier, I think that term is overrated. So let me put it this way. To me, an “ideal” friend
- will not judge you, except to your face
- will tell you if you are wrong without worrying about the consequence
- will not give you up to anyone on anything, even if you are wrong (read in conjunction with previous point)
- will not give up on you
- will be there for you, in person or in spirit, when you need them
- in short, will be genuine to you and around you

And, although, I mentioned only Vivek in this blog, there are a few more that I consider close to me – my ideal friends, if I may. They know who they are; though it doesn’t change anything, if they don’t. I will always cherish them and their memories, whether or not we are in touch. I will always hold them in the same place where I have always held them in my heart.

To you, my “ideal” friend, I dedicate this blog.

आजादी का दाम

हर तरफ मदहोश जूनून, कोने मे छुपा कानून।
भूल गए कि आजादी का दाम था लाखों का ख़ून।

I dread to wake tomorrow

So I was at work and all of a sudden I felt like poetry. And here is what spawned - my expression of terrorism, global warming and my belief of where all this is heading.

Close my eyes I must tonight
Sleep is but to borrow
The fear of a human smite
I dread to wake tomorrow

Acrid is the thick air
Sirens wailing of sorrow
All to find earth's heir
I dread to wake tomorrow

Man snubs his fellow living
Perils but his farrow
Fails to make the giving
I dread to wake tomorrow

Nescient to earth's design
His perspective too narrow
Dismisses the obvious as benign
I dread to wake tomorrow

Cleansing is earth now of men
Outward from her marrow
Close our eyes we should then
Never to wake tomorrow

"OMG! I downloaded South Park" "You BASTARD!!"

4 days and 25GB later, I now have ALL the episodes of South Park till Season 10 AND the South Park movie. I am one happy guy!!

CARTMAN is the BOY!! Reason #4 is the BEST!!

Sliding Door - The abrupt end to an intensive conversation

It has been a while since I wrote my last blog and the title of that one pretty much says why I wrote it. That dates my last proper blog to 2 weeks shy of 2 months. In acknowledgement of this ignorance, I express my sincerest apologies to the millions of my devout readers (*chuckle*) for this lapse in my blog stream. With this new post, you will all have the chance you have been longing for – the chance to pour in those millions of comments (*audible chuckle*) expressing your approval/rebuttal of the blog and its topic (*guffaw*).

Now that the preface is out of the way, the stimulus for this blog came from an interesting place – from my dermatologist during my visit a week ago. It was during one of those pillow talk sessions… you know… the one where the doctor starts talking about some random shit right before performing some surgical procedure on you that will hurt like hell but for some unknown reason the doc thinks that his small talk is gonna divert your mind away from all that excruciating pain? For those who haven’t been fortunate enough to go through one of this pillow talk sessions with your doctor, this is in many ways similar to the post-sex pillow talk, only this happens before the actual act but you get fucked in either – literally in the latter and with a hefty bill in the former. For those who haven’t been through a post-sex pillow talk, this is the part where you are so gratified from the sex that you make those remarks which you will later wake up and go “Wait! Did I say that or was it a dream?” For those who don’t know what sex is (no… not the little check box on your form), sorry, but I can only explain so much. If your parents didn’t have the birds & bees talk with you, it is none of my problem.

Coming back to my pillow talk with the doc (to reduce stress caused on my surgically treated finger from typing “dermatologist” a zillion times, let’s call him “doc”), this was one of the, if not THE, most interesting conversation I have had with my doctors so far. It wasn’t that the conversation was exceptional but the fact that, doc made me indulge in a serious conversation in spite of the pain, made it a unique experience for me. Voices in head at the time of conversation are in italic.

Doc: [jabbs the needle into my finger] Sooo… do you like any of the politicians out there now? You think any of them are good?
Me: [lying on the bed, starting at the ceiling, completely caught off guard by the question] Huh?! You mean… like… polit… as in… you mean any of the presidential candidates?
D.: Yes [managed to successfully puncture my skin… one word… OUCH!!]
M.: [choking from the piercing pain but still trying to get my voice loud enough to be audible] Well… I… I like the democ… democratic candidates better than the republican ones. I guess… I am more democratic than republican (I am?! Why did I just say that?)
D.: Did you know that the democrats have socialist ideals? So do you support socialism?
M.: Oh! I didn’t know that (I don’t even know exactly what socialism is. I think it’s something between communism and capitalism. But whatever you say doc. You hold the needle!). Well, I am not saying that the democratic candidates are the perfect fit but I think that they are better than the current offerings from the republican dugout.
D.: [Mentions something about the “war on terror” and how the democrats want to pull back the troops; my hearing was temporarily impaired since my brain was dealing with the intense pain of yet another piercing]
M.: (I think I should get a tattoo. If I can bear this pain I must be able to bear that) Yeah I agree that we need to pull our troops out. I think that, right now, they are there for no valid reason.
D.: [meddling with my finger and a tiny pair of tongs; not a good combination] But if we pulled our troops back, Al-Qaeda will gain control of Iraq and use it as a base for their terrorist activities.
M.: I don’t think that will happen. Iraqis hate Al-Qaeda as much as they hate us. (I can’t feel anything… Good job with the local anesthetic doc)
D.: Hmmm…! [using a lot of cotton and gauze]
M.: The majority of the population in Iraq is Shiite and Al-Qaeda is a Sunni militant group. So they won’t be able to take over Iraq without a fight.
D.: But Shiites also have militant groups. People like Mook… Mooktaa… Mooktad…
M.: (hehe) Muktada-Al-Sadr.
D.: [stops meddling with my finger, looks up and starts talking] Yeah! So if we leave, terrorists will gain control of Iraq.
M.: (WTF!! Get back to my bleeding finger) I don’t think so. If we leave, there might be a civil war in Iraq. But, that will happen whether we leave now, in 5 years or 10 years (Ok… the nurse is here… we must be close to getting done… Oh shit!! She looks middle-eastern… I hope I got my facts straight). This enmity between the sects was there before we went there and will be there after we leave. We won’t be able to do anything about it. That’s what I meant when I said it is not our fight.
D.: [cauterizing the wound] So what is your solution? How do we make sure that the terrorists don’t attack us?
M.: [all engrossed in the topic] Hmmm… I don’t know if there is any solution. Sunnis and Shiites are going to fight whether we like it or not and there is a pretty good chance that there will be a civil war in Iraq once we leave. Terrorist groups have cells operating in many countries. So even if we get them out of Iraq, they will just move operations to another country. I think the only way to fight terror from attacking our shores is to strengthen our own defen…
D.: [stands up and scribbles on his notepad; signals nurse to patch the wound up; stands at the doorway] The nurse will patch you up. You have a good day. [slides the door shut]
M.: …ses. Not go on the offensive. All we are doing by going on the offensive is making more enemies and … Thanks. See you later.

Now, this scenario is similar to what happens during a post-sex pillow talk on a weekday when one of the couple looks at the alarm clock. Surprisingly however, in spite of doc giving me the abrupt boot, I did not feel bad. I was just left wondering about how he got me all wrapped up in a serious conversation in such a short span of time and how opinionated I was about the war on terror.

And there ends my revival blog… just as abrupt as the sliding door at my dermatologist’s.

Just for the heck of blogging!!

So it has been more than a week since I last blogged. Not that nothing happened during this time. I just didn't have time to spend blogging or I was too lazy to blog. Here are some things that happened in my life over these past few days.

1. I am making an initiative towards getting in touch with friends/relatives - either be it by phone, mail or in person.
2. I started gymming and found that my muscles are in a very bad shape. Made me realize that I shouldn't have done so much cardio when I was in India - too much cardio allegedly weakens muscle mass.
3. I am planning to move to the same place I used to live before and me and my friend who owns the place are working on removing the carpet and restoring the hardwood in the room that I am about to rent. And, may be, rip out the old wallpaper and paint the entire room. Now I know how to carpet and uncarpet a floor and may be I will know how to paint the insides of a house. With labor being so cheap in India, I never got a chance to learn any of these stuff but if I were to live here, I better learn to do some of this stuff. Which I am glad I am now - it gives you a good workout plus saves some precious moolah.
4. I checked my weight two days ago and I have dropped down to 176.5 lbs. First time in 4+ years below 180 lbs. My BMI is below 25 now which means I just drifted from the "Overweight" category into the "Normal" category. Can't deny the confidence and happiness it gives you. And there has been more than one instance where people failed to recognize me - people I am meeting after 2 years - which doesn't dampen the confidence either.
5. Medjool's in the city is nice. I mean it is huge - 3 levels (loved the top level) so it barely gets packed but that is good if you are just lookin to lounge and not exchange sweat with other people in the room. I didn't like the staff much though. They appeared a bit too rude - or may be I am being judgemental. I don't know them, do I? It might have just so happened that ALL of them had a bad day at the same time - you can't rule out the possibility. Oh yeah!! I forgot to close my tab and pick up my credit card that night. So they still have it. And when I called to find out when I can come pick it up, the guy on the phone was so loud that I could hear grass grow in the background. I think he always tries to use his sexy husky voice to lure more customers with the chance of a night of exotica or may be he just had a bullet in his throat and had to breath with the help of a device. Whatever makes him/you happy.
6. Rode for a little bit on Sunday. Made me want to buy a R1 (or an R6) soon. But I don't wanna impulse buy. And I don't wanna miss out the riding. I am so confused. Well, may be save up for a couple of months and buy a used R6 for now. Trash it and later get an R1. That sounds like a plan. Hmmm...

Alrite. Time to go now and get ready for the day at work. Next blog whenever I feel like it.

Maze Meltdown

Section of the maze has melted away (250 yards to be a little more precise).
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/29/highway.collapse.ap/index.html
80W to 880S is closed and so is 80E to 580E. I don't think anything else is though. 880N to Bay Bridge is still open and so is 80W to Bay Bridge. Morning commute into the city is gonna be a bitch for a month or two. As for me, there is a reason I live just 6 miles from work. So many backroads for me to choose from.

There are speculations that this might be a terrorist attack. Seriously...WHAT?! There are possibilities that this might be a terrorist "activity" but if it is, this must be the most mellow one in the history of terrorist-kind. Yes, it does affect the economy of the bay area but why wud the terrorists blow up just a section of the freeway rather than just blow up the bay bridge or even worse, blow up the bay bridge in peak traffic? And why in the middle of the night when there is no one else around? Is it because the terrorists didn't want to be spotted? Damn you, Muhammad-Al-Sayid aka Sneaky. Just doesnt make sense. So media, please stop "speculating" unnecessarily for every squat shit that happens. This makes me want to see if I get on the news for floating a balloon with a toy gun hanging off it. News channels will probably bring in "experts" to discuss the possibility of that being a terrorist warning. Geez!! Truth is, we are not fighting terror in any way (rehabilitating Iraq doesnt qualify), but we are living and reliving IN terror everyday - thanks to the gratuitous use of the "TA" words by the government and the media.

It's JUST a name!!

To the guy/girl at the register at Safeway - DON'T !!!
May be you are trying to get kudos at your job or may be Safeway made a company-wide rule that you have to greet the customer by name. But seriously, do you really think I makes me so happy to watch you use all your rudimentary skills from kindergarten and play spelling bee with my name? Please cut the crap and just say "Thanks" or some formal shit like that. Who knows, that might make me happy and I might send u that kudos letter.

To the guy at the Deli near work - COME ON !!!
It's not even my last name that you have trouble with. My first name and that too just the first 4 letters. Repeat after me. A - R - U - N - Arun. Not Aaron, not Aaroon, Not Ar... (and then looking up to see if you can spot me). It's Arun. You know I am a regular and you are the manager there. The other two guys know me by name and know how to pronounce my name. The other day one of them spelled my name correctly and my white friend's name wrong. He made my day. I have gotten used to your ways now though - if you are alternating between looking at the order slip in your hand and looking around, while holding an order in your hand, I just assume that is my order and that you are looking for me. And, not surprisingly, that works most of the time.

To the guy behind me at the Deli when I was paying for my lunch - PRIVATE SPACE !!!
I know you got intrigued when my friend, the Deli manager guy, tried and failed to call out my name. And you noticed how I deftly understood he was trying to call me and responded. And I agree that this might have kindled your curiosity. But, dude, I thought there was a concept called private space... If you had just asked, I would have told you my first name, last name, my dad's name, my grand dads' names and all the other names I knew. You were a towering 6.5+ ft 250+ lb guy trying to peek over my shoulder to read my name in those tiny little font that credit card slips are printed in. You scared the shit out of me man. And I am still slightly perturbed by the fact that I was slightly bent over the counter trying to sign the credit card slip and that you were standing right behind me and that it was the busiest hour of the day at the deli.

Finally, for those who mentally start counting the vowels on hearing or seeing my last name - "SCREW U GUYSSS... I'M *not* GOIN HOME" (Thanks: Cartman)

£1 = $2...

FUCK BUSH!! I don't care if FBI or HomeLand security is monitoring my blog and they put me in the pound-my-ass pound for this. One fuckin pound is worth 2 fucking dollars. I can hear the English laughing at our ass - "We pulled our troops out for a reason laddie. You thought we needed more of them back in England, huh!! You ignorant bastards. Keep laughing at our accent and our dental plans until you become the world bum from being the world police. Let's see you laugh then."

I, for one, think that Bush is the worst president America has ever had. Not that I know that many presidents but I know stupid when I see one. Senior wasn't too far behind either but Junior just went all the way. 1$ was almost 46 Rs when I came here 3 months ago. Now it is 41 Rs. 5 Rs in 3 months!! No economy can fall faster than this except for the ones that are having a military coup or ones that are in the midst of a civil war. Kudos to Bush for this great achievement.

For those of you "ignorant bastards" wondering what "Rs" in the earlier paragraph stands for, it is Rupees, you idiots - currency of India, Pakistan and a few other countries in South Asia. There is a world outside of USA and may be you should know about it. NO!! Caribbean, Puerto Rico, Hawaii, Europe and South-East Asia is not a list of all places outside US. Sorry to break your bubble, but they aren't countries either. If you read the last line and think "Aren't they ?!", then you are the reason Bush is in the fuckin White House. Go hit yourself in the head with a shovel.

While I am on that topic, what the hell does "third-world" mean? Where did that come from? Just because US was in a cold war against USSR and people were too lazy to remember all the other country names, doesn't mean we can use that term in a derogatory way now. FYI... Most of those "third-world" countries have gone through thousands of years of civilization and they have exhausted most of their natural resources. Hence, they are now poor. It has been a little over 500 years since Columbus landed here. At the speed we are using our resources -not to mention with some timely help from Bush - we should be able to hit the poor mark easily within another 500, even 300 if we push for it.

I am way off the topic now. Back on to the train of thoughts. Isn't there any way in the constitution to kick Bush out of office? I need to learn about American constitution just to see if there is any way he can get kicked out of the white house. That stupid ass does not belong there. He only belongs in the ranch with his head up his horse's ass. Even the horse would be like "Did you know that you could have used a flashlight instead of putting your head in my ass? Jesus Christ!! Grow a brain man."

Never have I longed for time to roll faster just so that this man gets out of the white house. The day he gets out of office would literally be the happiest day of my life. And hopefully, the next one won't be a bigger asshole. If he/she is, I am getting the fuck out of this country and moving to somewhere in Europe or Asia. Switzerland, may be - coz I can rest assured they are never going to war. Like Robin Williams once wisely put it "How butch is an army with wine openers in their army gear?"

From 21 to 26...

I am amazed by how much shorter time seems the longer you have had it. At 21, 26 seemed a long time away. Now at 26, 21 feels like recent past. Other than my toddler 5, these 5 years have been the most happening in my life. The toddler 5 don't really matter for the topic of discussion because I don't remember much of it. Anyway, I digress.

Why 21 to 26? Why not 20 to 25? 21 because that's when I (under)graduated and stepped out into the so called "real" world. Or should I say the "unreal" corporate world. I think I have achieved quite a few of my goals in these 5 years. But thinking back, what kind of goals did I set? I hoped to get to US within 3 years and I achieved that in 1 year. I vowed to get a promotion in 2 years and got 2 promotions in 2 years. But weren't they just goals for my career? Thinking back, did I have any goals for my LIFE? Or did I just equate career to life? I guess I did. So was that ok that I set goals only for my career when I was 21? May be it was. Isn't career supposed to me one's main focus at that early age?

Where am I in my personal life now? Most of my close friends are half-way around the world which doesn't make it any easier to stay in touch. I can telepathize some of your thoughts - "Well... you can still stay in touch if you really want to; after all the world has shrunk". Think I don't know that? Yeah the world has shrunk but so has human mind. It might be a cliche, but how many of your neighbors do you know?

Lots of questions with no definitive answers. At the end of it all, here I am writing my first blog on blogspot (or blogger for the perfectionist in you) and wondering, what have I achieved in these 5 years and what have I lost? I have achieved my goals in my career but in that path, I wonder, if I have lost a few friendships. May be it is time for me reorganize my priorities and give more importance to friendships and relationships than my career. May be I should do the simplest of things - call people on my contact list at least once a month. May be I should care more about people than about my career.

Or may be I should shut the f*** up and get back to the 10 projects that I have to complete by end of this week.